It was suggested to me after the game that I should find an alternative to ‘squeaky bum time’ as that phrase was in danger of getting worn out through over-use.
The problem is that nothing else comes close to describing that feeling when you’re two points up with three minutes to go, and you not only give up a penalty but also get marched back ten metres for giving the ref a bit of lip.
So I’m going to file off the rough edges, give it a bit of WD-40, buff up the paintwork and it should be good for at least another season of gluteal workouts.
Well, first versus second was always going to be either a high-scoring try-fest or a dour slug-fest. Then again, on a cold Friday night in November, it was never going to be a try-fest, so we got what is euphemistically called “one for the purists”.
The promised Ford-Russell showdown never materialised, either, given the mostly forward-dominated, stop-start nature of the game. On the plus side, it was good to see how naturally and capably Finn Russell has slipped into the role of referee’s advisor so recently vacated by Dan Biggar.
Calling it “one for the purists” is, maybe, a bit harsh. In attack, Sale made 1½ times as many metres (358-243), twice as many carries (60-32), beat twice as many defenders (27-15) and made half as many more offloads (11-7) and passes (164-106). Those numbers aren’t wonderful in absolute terms but, given that Bath appeared to have come mainly to spoil and slow down, they show at least a willingness to attack.
Also, “squeaky bum time”, for me, only kicked in for the last five minutes or so. For the whole of the second half and for most of the first, Bath were simply not a threat to our try line. Up to the point where we got marched back from a penalty, even a two-point lead didn’t seem insufficient. Well, yes, obviously a two-point lead is vulnerable to a late daft penalty, but Bath had posed so little threat during the preceding thirty-five minutes of the second half, that I felt comfortable that they wouldn’t manage to overhaul us.
Yes, it did get a bit rectally challenging at the end, but the fear was only that we’d give away a kickable penalty, not that they might do something like create a legitimate score.
In the category “lies, damn lies and statistics”, a look at the “red zone efficiency” metric tells a completely misleading story, 0.63 to 2.25. It’s odd, isn’t it, that a penalty kicked from 21 metres out counts towards your “points per visit” but one from 23 metres out doesn’t. I think here that 8-4 in visits to the 22 is a more meaningful indication of the attacking threat posed by each team.
Besides, watch the “highlights” (you didn’t think I was going to re-watch the whole thing, did you?) and you’ll see that at least two of those notorious red-zone turnovers (five, I believe) should have been penalties to Sale. The first one shown is clearly beyond the ball and scooping back, and the second could not be a more blatant case of failing to support your weight if he’d been lounging on a chaise longue. He was actually resting his left hand on the ground whilst rummaging for the ball with his right. I hope the referee is suitably embarrassed at that one.
Add to that the frustration at the time-wasting tactics: it wasn’t until about five minutes from the end when the ref finally informed Bath that “we’re not stopping for him”. That, after 75 minutes of yellow-clad players dropping like flies every time there was a brief stoppage. Plus the interminable negotiations preceding every lineout that, on any other day, would have seen free kicks and penalties being awarded.
So, on reflection, “one for the purists” isn’t overly harsh. If anything, it’s giving the game too much credit. We won without playing particularly well and in the face of some of the most blatant spoiling tactics I’ve ever seen. Take that as a positive, enjoy another week at the top and move on to the next challenge.
…Which is Quins away.
Friday night at The Stoop isn’t going to be easy but I honestly think we can do it. I know that Quins have been scoring for fun lately but they’ve also been losing. Win this and we are top throughout the European break and then it’s only Sarries at home between us and a Christmas No. 1.
Recent form suggests that we should get the win at Quins
| SAMP-5 | Harlequins 21 – 24 Sale |
| SAMP-10 | Harlequins 19 – 24 Sale |
Go for it…
an old grey dog 