From the sublime to the ridiculous; from the ridiculous back to the sublime. This is the Way of the Shark, young mudskipper: learn it well.
The eagle-eyed among you may have noted the lack of a report on the Stormers game. It’s not that I didn’t watch it[1]; it’s that when it came to writing a report, I just couldn’t (not without lots of shift-top-row characters, anyway).
And, for thirty-nine minutes and fifty-five seconds, I thought this game would go similarly. Because that is precisely how long we spent putting together slick moves and threatening attacks only to bugger them up with a dropped ball, an off-feet or some other inventive way of handing the initiative back to the opposition.
Mind you, in the course of that thirty-nine minutes and fifty-five seconds, I saw more cohesion and desire – and a lot less box-kicking[2] – than I’ve seen in several games this season (including some of the ones we’ve won). Is it a coincidence that some of our most fluid play has come with a Raffi/George axis? Seriously, we need to get Raffi re-signed ASAP. Lock him in the dressing room at Carrington: whatever it takes, we need to keep him. We need him here, with George, because they are electric as a duo.
But, for all that electricity, forward dominance and backs moves, we couldn’t make the pressure and the territory count.
That sounds familiar…
Meanwhile, Toulon were playing like a team used to being in the south of France who’ve been asked to play on a cold January evening in Salford. They defended stoutly, but offered very little in attack, apart from Villiere, who, for me, was the only one who looked at all lively and a bit threatening.
Apparently, Dan Biggar was at fly-half. I hadn’t noticed…
Anyway, halftime was approaching and thoughts in the crowd were turning to pints, pies and pees, when, from their 22, Sale suddenly surged forward, Bev leading the way. (Does anyone else remember him breaking the line and sending an outrageous overhead pass to Faf?) Suddenly, the action was on the Toulouse Toulon 22, where Raffi flicked an audacious, no-look, backward pass to Tom Curry, who shipped it on to George, who fired a long precision pass to Flats, who gave it on to Buck, who cut back inside to avoid the outside covering tackle, then dragged the inside defender with him as he managed to ground the ball over the line. Third time’s the charm, eh?
Five seconds to half time and finally the scoreboard was moving. George put over the conversion and we went in seven-nil up. The question was, could we take this and build on it in the second half?
Spoiler alert: yes.
Nine minutes in, we had a line out on the Toulon ten-metre line. Off the top to Raffi, on to George, over to Rob and Ben Curry is cutting a line as if he’s played centre all his career. With one man to beat, he – in his own words – “panicked a bit” and kicked the ball forward. Panic or not, it worked and was then just a chase between him and Raffi over who would collect it and score beside the posts.
Ten minutes later, another line-out, this time about ten metres from the Toulon line. We’d already had a five-metre line out a few minutes before but the Law of Important Line-outs kicked in and we right royally buggered it up. This time, though (being a bit further out), we set up the maul, Dickie broke away to a couple of metres out and Nye heard (as did everyone in the crowd) Bev screaming for the ball, gave it to him, and there was try number three in the bag.
Twenty minutes to go; we were starting to believe.
Two minutes later, Villiere made a break down the right but was forcibly stopped by Flats. From the ruck, Serin picked the ball up, got a face full of Jean-Luc and went down like a stunned parrot, dropping the ball in the process. Quickest of thought was Flats, who picked it up and ran some sixty metres for try number four and a date with Toulouse.
Despite protestations from Toulon, the ref (who I thought had a good game) and TMO were happy with J-L’s challenge and seemed close to suggesting that Serin should maybe think of a career on the stage.
With fifteen minutes to go, Toulon pulled one back and, given the speed with which they drop-kicked the conversion, seemed to think that they had a chance. If they thought they might be able to get the win and improve their seeding, then they’d left it a bit late in the day.
And they tried their best, without success, until Sale put it beyond all doubt when Tom Curry, not to be outdone by his brother, hacked a loose ball forward for Buck to run on to for his second and Sale’s fifth.
A few minutes later, the ref blew the final whistle and that was it: we had qualified in third place. Stormers forgotten, it was time to look forward to April and a trip to <gulp> Toulouse. Deep joy…
At least Toulouse is a lovely place to spend a few days in.
So, another curate’s egg of a performance: much to enjoy and praise but too many schoolboy howlers disrupting the rhythm of the attack. Defensively, they were superb again; I saw probably one defensive error all game – the one that led to Moulon’s try.
Talking of defence: special call-out to Raffi and Rikki who put in some big tackles that would have made the forwards proud. Flats’s tackle when Villiere thought he was going for glory was a literal game-changer and Nye’s sliding cover to gather a loose ball in the face of a hundred kilos of French beef was bravery beyond the call.
I’m sure there were other notable events that I’ve forgotten but, since I only have access to a five-minute “highlights” video, they’ll have to remain unremarked.
I briefly mentioned Rikki Ma’asi-White up there and I’d like to single him out for a mention. I thought he had his best game for us so far. He played as if he really wanted to take the twelve shirt by force from Luke or Bedders. Good for him: I wonder if the coaches are now looking to ease him into the team in much the way they did with Asher. Gently does it, a bit at a time, build him up and let him go. Expect to see him starting regularly this time next season.
So, with the Toulouse trip all booked up (5:45 am flight… Aaaargh!), we leave Europe behind for a couple of months.
You’d think that, having decided to suspend the Premiership for the duration of the Six Nations so that teams with internationals don’t lose out, they’d include the England training week in that suspension. But no, in their infinite wisdom, the Prem comes back for a single round just so that we can lose seven eight front-line players for a crucial match against the league leaders.
Just be clear, we face Bath without Bev, Dickie, Asher, Curry B, Curry T, Fordy, Buck, and now Raffi. Bath lose just four, although that now includes Spencer but – obviously – not Russell.
It was always going to be a difficult game but it’s now become an order of magnitude harder. We can still put out a decent team but this sort of enforced “mass rotation” has got to have an effect. I’m hopeful that we can pull it off and keep the unbeaten home record but let’s be under no illusions that it’s going to take a monumental effort.
I can’t help thinking that having a single round of the Premiership on a week when it’s known that players will not be available undermines the competition somewhat. There’s also the matter of the EQP requirements. Losing eight England-qualified players for this round, plus the need to rest some, if not all, of them post-Six Nations must seriously affect the club’s ability to maintain the needed average. I trust that allowances are made when working out who’s meeting the criteria…
That said, my beef is with the playing of an important game whilst hamstrung by England call-ups. The call-ups themselves are absolutely brilliant for the club and for the guys who’ve made the grade (not forgetting WillGriff getting into the Welsh squad and now Arron being called up for Scotland). To be supplying more England squad players than any other team has got to have a beneficial effect on the saleability of the club to potential recruits and on supporter interest.
Given the absences, let’s play the “guess the team” game.
My selection: Carpenter, O’Flaherty, Rob du Preez, James, Reed, Curtis, Thomas; MacIntyre, McElroy, John, van Rhyn, Andrews, J-L du Preez, Dugdale, D du Preez; Caine, Onasanya, Harper, Bamber, Birch, Warr, Wills, Addison.
(Nye to start because he’s more Raffi-like and I think would work better with Curtis than would Gus. Bring on Gus with Addison and move Rob to 10, since he works well with Gus.)
Actually, that’s not a bad side. It’s got fourteen (I think) EQP in the twenty-three, so up there with the requirements.
I’m open to playing Ma’asi-White, Bedlow or Beaumont in their respective positions. Is there any point in considering Naycalevu? It would be nice if Roets could make an appearance to bulk up the pack. Whoever plays, they’re going to need all the support we can give, so get down there and make a noise.
SAMP™ has us with either a narrow win or a narrow defeat, so who knows? Stranger things have happened…
[1]: I watched it, for my sins, in a sports bar in Worcester. Fortunately, there were several of us there and we were able to form an impromptu mutual support group before drowning our sorrows in the pub(s).
[2]: Thirty kicks from hand, which is actually on the high side over all games this season, but I assume that’s all kicks, not just box-kicks, and it’s the excessive box-kicking that seemed to be absent.
an old grey dog 